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Apr. 12th, 2008 @ 12:21 pm SCS Episode - Part 3
Here's the last part of this episode. Still only a draft, needs a lot of work. Let me know what you think so far. This part's a long one, though, so don't bother if you've only got a few minutes to spare.

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Homicidal
hamhead:
Mar. 11th, 2008 @ 06:39 pm SCS Episode - Part 2
This is part two of the SCS episode I wrote part of a while ago. Still only a draft. Constructive criticism is encouraged.

I've written this out in the scriptwriting format, which means that one page of writing equals one minute of footage. Now, this doesn't seem completely accurate, as I've written about eighteen pages, and there's no way this is nearly twenty minutes of film.

Am thinking of calling the episode Twenty-Seven, Sixty-Three, and Some Extra.

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Ham
hamhead:
Jan. 30th, 2008 @ 06:39 pm SCS Episode - Part 1
So, the other day I randomly thought up the plot to an episode of the SCS, if it were ever a television show. I decided to try and script it, mainly out of boredom, but also for fear of wasting ideas.

In any case, I wouldn’t worry. Nothing will ever happen with this script, it’ll remain just a script, nothing more.

Here is the start of the episode. Using the proper script format, this is roughly ten minutes worth, give or take a couple of minutes.

Also, it's only a first draft, so it's not so great. If I haven't got your character's personality right, do correct me, and I'll make the necessary changes, so I don't annoy you too much =p

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Gir
hamhead:
Jan. 26th, 2007 @ 03:02 pm (no subject)
During these past few months, I have been warlording involved in peace negotiations in the shady alleyways embassies in the United States. You would not believe how cheap the minions are! the excellent state of the economy. And the minion slave traffic livestock is extremely affordable and very easy to transport. You simply stick the min-- livestock in a crate with some styrofoam peanuts  to make sure it doesn't get damaged during shipping.

Due to my brief hiatus and backstabbing double-crossing thieving blackmailing bribing recent negotiations, I have been unable to post the official, annual exam. Rest assured however I will be measuring your levels of competence when I arrive back. I have already completed the minion spring cleaning - a brisk trek across Alaska weeded out the weaker ones, happily.

Yrs evilly etc,
Le Cheezmaquer.
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various uses of minions
le_cheezmaquer:
Sep. 1st, 2006 @ 10:54 am (no subject)
Mrh?
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Ham
hamhead:
Jun. 23rd, 2006 @ 12:07 pm (no subject)
Hello all.

Le Cheez and myself will be making a short film about the SCS, involving interviews of most of the members, and explanations of their current projects, etc.

Also, there will be a fair bit of minion violence going on.

Anyone interested?
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Ham
hamhead:
Aug. 3rd, 2005 @ 07:43 pm (no subject)
EXAM INSTRUCTIONS:
Post your answers on the communtity, eg:
1. A
2. B
3. C
etc etc. I will mark them and post everyone's results a week after. So! Here is the exam:

SECTION A: MULTIPLE CHOICE
You are a minion under Le Cheezmaquer’s minionship. The secretary asks you to take a cup of tea to Le Cheezmaquer. You notice there is a marshmallow floating on top. To your knowledge, Le Cheezmaquer has never before had a marshmallow in her tea. Do you…
D. Remove it and place it on the saucer.

After delivering the tea, Le Cheezmaquer gives the command, “I’m bored. Entertain me.”
Do you…
C. Wait until an Avon saleslady comes knocking, then release the hounds.

After thoroughly entertaining Le Cheezmaquer, she sends you away to “mop the floors”. This is usually a job reserved for the cleaner. Do you…
E. Obediently get out the mop and bucket, then delegate the job to a lesser minion.

After your duties, you decide to have an unauthorised tea break. Whilst lounging about in the control room pressing buttons and pretending you are Luke Skywalker in his spaceship thing, Le Cheezmaquer comes across you. Do you…
C. Explain that you were just testing to make sure the buttons didn’t stick.

Eventually you do get your authorised tea break. There’s one last lamington left. Le Cheezmaquer enters. You know she has a fetish for lamingtons. Do you…
A. Offer her the plate. I don't particularly like lamingtons.

You attempt to laugh evilly but discover, much to your horror, that you sound like a little girl prancing about laughing in delight at balloons etc. Do you…
A. Quickly do a crash course in Laughing Evilly

As Le Cheezmaquer is walking down the street, a cute little puppy bounces up to her. Do you…
B. Quietly kick it away.

Le Cheezmaquer is in the middle of arranging punishment for a disobedient minion when her secretary calls her away. Do you…
C. Eye them through slitted eyes and tell them they better not “try to escape”. Then show them a photograph of a pile of ashes and tell them it’s the last escapee (it’s really overcooked toast.)

Le Cheezmaquer is inspecting the condition of the dungeons when a mad monk starts raving madly and throwing himself upon her. Do you…
A. Say sternly, “Not today, Rasputin. Le Cheezmaquer isn’t in the mood.”

Le Cheezmaquer is eating a salad sandwich. The lettuce keeps falling out and being most disagreeable. Finally Le Cheezmaquer declares a national war on lettuces. Do you….
D. Immediately set about organising lettuce termination methods and hiring qualified gardeners to spray designated areas with acid-based pesticides.

SECTION B – er…MORE MULTIPLE CHOICE
Le Cheezmaquer is having a large, long rant about the state of her coffee and generally whinging about the lack of quality. You zone out while she’s bagging everything out and zone in just in time to have her look at you expectantly. Do you…
C. Say hurriedly, “I agree.”

Bad news! Le Cheezmaquer has gotten sick of finding minions hiding in broom closets and arranges to have them all torn out. You get stuck with tearing out all the ones in the West Wing of the Secret Volcano Hideout. You come across a very old closet, filled with memories – Ahhh! All the times you escaped by jumping into here…the hours of near-suffocation through dust inhalation…the desperate claw marks you made from when you discovered Rasputin in there with you and he was a bit reluctant to let you go….so many memories! Do you…
C. Cheerfully whistle to yourself as you take to it with a chainsaw and axe. Memories aren't my strong point.

More trouble. You come across a roomful of minions plotting to overhaul Le Cheezmaquer and take over her empire! Do you…
D. Get angry – especially as Le Cheezmaquer promised YOU her empire if anything happened! – say they can’t have anything, they’re not getting anything, and what’s more, you’re exterminating them in five, four, three, two…

Le Cheezmaquer is getting suspicious about where your loyalties lie. Do you…
A. Sweeten her up by giving her an “early birthday present” of sharks with laser beams on their heads.

Le Cheezmaquer pops down into the dungeons and spots a minion with a computer cord hanging from their mouth. Predict her reaction.
A. She says, “Only I can carry off eating electrical goods.”
B. Kicks them aside and snaps “Get off the floor and stop playing about.”
C. She snickers to herself.
D. Removes the computer cord and reattaches it to the bare wire of a plugged-in electrical cord to see if the electricity volts regenerated will bring the minion back to life or make them explode.
>E. ALL OF THE ABOVE<

Le Cheezmaquer swears as you accidentally spill her latte on her whilst delivering it. Do you…
D. Run for the trusty old broom closet, only to find they’ve all been destroyed. Instead, you miserably lock yourself up in the dungeon to save Le Cheezmaquer the bother.

Le Cheezmaquer is in one of her “moods”. Do you…
C. Deliver several freckles to her.

Le Cheezmaquer gets rather emotional when saying goodbye to her favourite members. She declares pathetically through sniffles, “I’m not crying. Dark overlords don’t cry!” Do you…
D. Say “Of course you’re not crying, you’re a supremely evil overlord.” Then proceed to pat her back affectionately and offer her a tissue.


That is it. No talking until you have left the room.
Your exam results will be posted a week after I have received them.
About this Entry
thylacine_girl:
Jul. 3rd, 2005 @ 09:50 pm (no subject)
Second scene - Please make a suggestion! i know it can be improved so improve it!
even if you tell me its shit and just write another one - thats all good!


SCENE 2
riot outside the secret lair – public Entrance.
Signs such as ‘free the minions’ and ‘let our poor uneducated minions go!’ one or two signs read things such as
‘This be a sign’ or ‘look at me! Whee!”
‘our bold hero’ stands among the throws of people with his faithful sidekick by his side. The sidekick is holding a ‘don’t hit me, I’m a vegan’ sign. And looking very scared.

Hero: (to the crowds in general)I will save you!
Sidekick: mutter mutter whimper whimper don’t attract their attention
Hero: these are our loyal followers and fans morris! Why should they not be given a chance to protest?
Sidekick: protest? I have no problem with protest. Its when I’m the one standing outside the lair of a cruel multibillion cheese-round company that I have a problem with protest.
Hero: I will save you!
‘They push through he crowd’

Hero: you good man, have they come out yet?
Good man: no sir! Not yet sir! But we will protest till they have to notice us sir!
Hero: hmm. Good man.
Good man: yes sir?
Hero; no.. I was just saying that you’re a good man
Good man: yes I know that sir
Good man: would you like an egg sir?
Hero: an egg?
Good man: Yes sir
Hero: what sort of egg?
Good man: a bulloks egg sir
Hero: bulloks egg? Is that a sort of.. exotic bird?
Good man: no sir it’s a cow sir.
Hero: but cows don’t lay eggs!
Good man: yes sir
Hero: nice of you to give up your sundy to come here my good man
Good man: yes sir
‘good man wanders off’

‘hero and sidekick stare at building’

Hero: I wonder if they’ve noticed the front dorr’s open?
Sidekick: I think they’ve been trying not to notice.
Hero: why ever would they do that?
Sidekick: shady look
Hero: someone should go in there and teach them a lesson! The minions must be freed! You my old chap
Old chap: how did you know my name sir?
Hero: why doesn’t someone go in there and teach those minion defiling prick’s a lesson?
Old chap: the doors locked.
Hero: But its open!
Old chap: yes sir, just as you say sir, but its locked
Hero: how can it be open And locked?
Old chap: it manages quite well sir
Hero: its not locked! I’ll show you!
Old chap: interest pricking up and how will you do that sir?
Hero: I’ll go in there myself and speak to Le cheezmaquer himself!
crowd silences immediately
Old chap: to.. to who sir?
Hero: l….
sidekick puts hand over heroes mouth
Sidekick: to the.. the beanstaker!

Old chap: I’ve never heard of him, who’ that then?
Sidekick: little chap…
Little chap: yes?
Sidekick: not YOU another little chap, stakes beans for a living. Put them on cocktail sticks and all sorts.
Old chap/little chap: oh.
Hero; so in we go then!
Old chap/little chap: oh!
hero marches off towards door, drags sidekick with him.
Hero: you know that’s not what I said
Sidekcik: yes sir
Hero: I don’t like you messing up my words
Sidekick: yes sir
Hero: anyway, I got a very good hushed silence! Did you see my hashed silence!?
Sidekick: yes sir
Hero: mph
Sidekick: pshh

Old chap: so what do you reckon little chap?
Little chap: oh, about 1: 1029476937694768.6
Old chap: hmm… lets round it down to 1:1300000000000000
Little chap: that’s rounding up
Old chap: well It cant hurt.
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grima_tajgoolie:
Jun. 29th, 2005 @ 07:36 pm (no subject)
Jubilant greetings to all.

okay. well consider int he casting is under way, i had a feeling i should post the fist scene of ze movie.

I also have in aimaginative title suggestion

:

ZE movie.

tis good isn;'t it?


ah well.. here it is. aproved by amie and edited to some extent by The mnost gracious T.O

In a dark shop in a dark alley. A dark shady figure comes in and orders
'
Shady figure:“300 minions please. ready packed"

Receptionist:"certainly sir, and how many brain calls would you like collectivly in them?"

Sf:"oh.. i think about one. one should do it."

(receptionist enters this into computer)(or aty least types SOMETHING)
R:"what company should i send them too?"

figure crouches over the desk, receptionist leans towards the figure. figure whisperes

SF:"le cheezmaquer"


R:(talking loudly and quite normaly)"again? you just ordered 500 last month!"


SF:"well we had.. difiiculties"

R:"i.. see... you do realise that minions are quite hard to come by. i'm afraid i shall have to charge you extra."

SF:"extra? why?"

R:"for wear and tear on minions. They might start going to school to aviod being hired. and THEN where will you get your minions from eh?"

SF:"umm... china? lots of people in china!"

R:"lots of schools to"

SF:"that can be.... *looks around shadily* taken care of"

R:"riiiight.... what do you DO to the minnions anyway?"

SF:"well... i'll show you..."

Ten minutes later shady figure walks out of shady shop and climbs into shady car shadily waiting on the corner

camera zooms into the shop, and focuses on the two little piles of bright purple dust.

shady figure mutters
"note to self – move minion aquirements to china’



MUSIC TITLE ECT



Please comment with any suggestions

Scene 2 on its way. progressing rather like homework actually. i have sat here for twenty minute and writte

SCENE 2.

i...

Over and out
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grima_tajgoolie:
Mar. 4th, 2005 @ 09:52 pm (no subject)
'Eh eh ehhhhhhhhh alll
Le evil genius and myself have talked this over and decided on the writing of a Le Cheeze movie.
We haf decided to give is subjects and mi\tter using: what i will not do when i rule the world.
We will of course nort comform, and do all of these things. including turning into a snake. Vhe need a plot so we can start the script writing proces. no sophie we cannot incorporate CSI, Las Vegas or NCIS. i am truly sorry. No jesse we cannot star rufus of hayleys knee. wel, maybe the knee. Yes philly.. whatever you say.

Very much approve of the makeover of the Le cheeze journal. Goodo. How the website progressing?

Over and full of outradges outieness... EPIC
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grima_tajgoolie: